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Each month we try to bring you a fun, informative look at what's new at Rapid Recovery, health tips, cool stuff in the area, and any other news we think you'll dig. And of course we try to throw in the Cocktail of the Month.

September 2022 Newsletter

I'm putting you to work


True story. Some things with which I could really use a hand!


First off, I'm not some kind of...


hippie who chains himself to trees. I'm all about protecting the environment, but I ain't giving up my 4Runner for an inappropriately named "Smart Car" any time soon.


That said, I've been feeling pretty guilty about something, and I need your help with it.


You know that when you come to Rapid Recovery we make sure you get a fancy Keurig coffee, or a flavored water, or just a plain old water, because we want it to be a nice experience.


Well, the other day when I was digging through the trash (yes, I do that because we can't have medical waste in the regular trash and I always check to make sure our nurses are doing the right thing), I realized we have an absolute metric butt-ton of plastic bottles everywhere. Like over the last five years we're responsible for the death of at least two dolphins. Oh yeah, also I used to be a big scuba diver. Plastic in the ocean is nauseating.


Anyway, this morning I ordered extra "trash" cans for each office, to be used as recycling bins. I have one in my office and I put all my plastic in there and when it's full I bag it up, take it home, and put it in the recycling bin. I'm going to do that at the offices as well.


SOoooo, you can really help me, and this little blue rock on which we live, if you'll remember to keep your bottle with you until you check out, and give it to your nurse to toss in the recycle bin. Or, you can toss it in there yourself. It's probably not much in the way of helpful, but I'll sleep a hell of a lot better.


As a whole, Rapid Recovery and its Tribe are just putting entirely too much plastic into landfills. I really appreciate your help with that one!

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Now I need you to help me help you...


I can not go ONE DAY without the following phone call taking place:


"Rapid Recovery, this is Bob. How may I help you?"


"Well Bob, I just haven't been taking care of myself and I wonder what you recommend."


Holy hell. I recommend you start taking care of yourself.


I mean, I don't say that, but I think it. Seriously, we see a lot of people who haven't had a problem, they just don't take care of themselves. It's not like I don't want to see more patients, but I want to see more people who have an "oops" moment. "Oops, I stayed in the sun too long." "Oops. Shouldn't have eaten that." "Ooops, I played with all those kids at that party and one of them had a cold." "Ooops, went on that vacation and didn't stay hydrated or eat right."


We don't want to see YOU feeling so badly you need an IV, when you could've avoided it. Send us your friends for their "oops" moments, come see us for your "oops" moments, and we'll do fine, but take care of yourself. We don't want to make a living off of you not doing the right things.


So: 1) Your body weight in pounds, divided by two, then that number in ounces of water a day. 150 pound person means 75 ounces of WATER (not Gatorade or iced tea) a day.


2) I hate vegetables. I eat them anyway. Green, leafy vegetables are vitamin monsters. Want to keep getting The Lagniappe because you're vitamin deficient, or do you just want to stomach some veggies?


3) Get a safe amount of sun. You need Vitamin D and you can't eat or drink it. You can come get a shot, or responsibly get some sun.


4) I know that oral supplements are pretty poor when it comes to absorption, I run a company based on that sad fact, but you gotta take them anyway. Remember that you'll only absorb about half (if you're lucky) of what the bottle says is in the dose, but plan accordingly. You'll urinate Powerade after you take them, but it's better than not taking them at all.


I mean, if you want to not take care of yourself, be perpetually vitamin deficient and dehydrated, and just come spend a bunch of money with us, that's more than cool with me, but maybe just try taking care of yourself and only seeing us when things get out of hand.

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Last task!


Because nobody ever seems to have it in them to call us and hurt our feelings when things don't go right, and I'm not the kind of guy who can sleep well when I think things might be going poorly, we're putting "comment boxes" in each office.


They're already in Longview and as we get to the other offices we'll let you know. They're ANONYMOUS if you'd like. No need to put your name. Better yet, the box is locked and only Rachel and I have the key. Just fill out the little card, smile at the nurse on your way out and say "THANK YOU SO MUCH", and then drop the little card that says "I felt like a pin cushion" in the box.


Problem solved.

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So that's that.


You know your homework. Recycle at the office, get healthy, let us know how things were after your visit. All easy stuff, BUT...

there will be grades given. ;-)

We will wrap it up here for September, but we'll be back in October if I have the money to stay open, given Rachel's enthusiastic loves of Halloween, Fall, decorating, and Hobby Lobby.


Stay happy, healthy, and hydrated, and we'll see you soon!!

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Thanks for being part of the Rapid Recovery Tribe.

We appreciate ALL of you!

Stay healthy, hydrated, and happy!

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