What to Expect
Give us an hour notice and we'll give you a new lease on life!
First: Before we get started, do us a favor and grab one of the facemasks we provide if you've got the flu, or a cold, or feel like you might be contagious. We don't want everyone else in town getting sick. Good for business, but bad for our conscience. So now that we're past that...
After you walk in, feel free to grab a Keurig pod and make yourself a cup of coffee. You're probably wiped out, and even though coffee will dehydrate you a little, you're about to take care of that problem, so get some Joe. If you aren't a coffee person, grab one of those bottles of water if you'd like.
Second: The friendly person behind the desk is probably going to ask for your ID. We don't track it or keep it, but if you're one of those lucky folks who looks young we need to make sure you're over 18. Legal issues and such.
Third: We're going to hand you a clipboard with a little paperwork on it. This is some legal mumbo-jumbo (it's all private too), and a few very important questions about your medical history and the medicines you take and so on. This is a really good time to be completely honest. Remember, we don't judge, but we need to know.
While you're filling out your paperwork, get your discount strategy ready. If you're in the military, a policeman/woman, a firefighter, or are EMS, get out your ID and get ready to give it to the person in the Rapid Recovery shirt so they can give you your Hero Discount. If you aren't one of those folks, whip out your phone and get to posting. The person behind the desk has a little info on how you can schill for us and save some money.
Fourth: Based on what's wrong with you, your medical history, the meds you take, and what's SAFE for you, our nurse is going to recommend a package (don't forget the oxygen if you're a smoker), but it's your call on which level of service you want, as long as what you want is safe for you. All we do is recommend.
Fifth: We take your money.
Sixth: Depending on your size and level of "just plain whupped", and what kind of chair you'll need, we'll put you in the room that best suits you . Then we're going to check some more basic medical stuff like your blood pressure and heart rate to make sure you're okay to get an IV or injection. If so, your nurse is going to go custom make your infusion, and grab their gear.
Seventh: Your nurse will come back in with all the goodies they need to turn your day around. If you're a ninny about needles, don't worry about it. These folks have worked in ERs and infusion clinics and dialysis centers and you aren't going to feel it. This isn't like getting a shot when you were a kid. We have numbing spray and it's for everyone, not just the ninnies. This is easy-peasy. Then they're going to hook you up to your Liter of Love if you're getting an IV.
Eighth: You're going to fall asleep, or watch TV, or get on our free guest wifi and fiddle around on your phone for between 45 minutes and an hour, and then our nurse is going to come in and take away all your IV stuff and give you a little bandage and your Aftercare Instructions. You're set to conquer the day.
Ninth: You're going to follow those aftercare instructions because you're a responsible adult and you want what's best for you.
Tenth: You're going to go to work with the people you went out with last night, or with whom you played softball all day, or the group who laid out on the boat with you all day, and you're going to notice they don't look nearly as chipper as you do because they didn't visit us and you were the genius who did, and you're going to tell them we rock.